Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
