Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
