Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
