What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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