Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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