Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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