Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The feeling are messing with the penis
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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