Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Found your dick twin last night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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