Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
