He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
