Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
