Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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