you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Shame - the story of my life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
