I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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