if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize