Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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