We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
