So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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