It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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