"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
