for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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