Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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