For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
