Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
