Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
