Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize