Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
