did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
