Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
