Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
