Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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