Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can Purell be used as lube?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
