Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
pray to the hookup gods
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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