well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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