I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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