I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
