you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How does one acquire holy water?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
