you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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