He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize