Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
