apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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