I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
