first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's shark week go big or go home
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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