oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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