So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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