Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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