PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
