man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
