I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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