i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
