You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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