Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
