sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize