Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
