Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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