How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
