Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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