So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
