That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize