she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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